How To Freak Someone Out // Thought Catalog

by WildChild

Is it bad that I can check off a couple of these due to my awkward sense of humor?  Not at all.

Go up to someone and tell them that you like their aura. Tickle their face with a feather and walk away.

At lunch, take out a bag of coke and ask people if they want any. When no one says anything back, say “MORE FOR ME THEN! NOM NOM NOM NOM.”

Whenever a complete stranger writes something mean about you on the Internet, just write back “hon? what’s wrong? r u ok? honey? miss ya. want to see ya. should i come over?” (I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS.)

Start off a sentence with “That reminds me of the time I was molested.” Or “Have I told you about my last abortion?” Or my personal favorite: “I wish they would just bring back Everybody Loves Raymond!”

Write on your enemies’ Facebook wall: “Isn’t it weird how we hate each other IRL but we’re friends on this thing? LOL!”

Make out with a stranger at the bar and be like “I didn’t expect to meet the love of my life tonight. Simply amazing…”

When the barista at your coffee shop asks how your day is going, tell them that you’ve cried three times already and you might start again right now. Then ask for their number.